Kevin R. Johnson, Chicago Divorce Attorney, Custody Attorney, Parent's Rights

If you are divorced, you are usually free to date, marry and have relationships with other people.  But, if you have children of your former marriage or relationship, you must be careful how you bring a new love interest into your life. As a Chicago divorce and custody attorney, I often deal with the results of careless behavior by well-meaning parents .  For example, a new 'girlfriend,' a new 'boyfriend,' or another adult brought into the household to be around the children.  My advice:  When dating, don't even expose the children to the new person for several months.  It's a mistake to bring the person home, introduce them to the children, and then have a new person in a month or two after you break up.  It cheapens relationships and commitment in the eyes of a child.  I call it ' invisible dating .' If you're going to bring home a new pet, you don't then dispose of that pet two months later after the children have formed an attachment to ...

I have seen many cases where a divorce judgment or custody order says the parents are to split 'non-covered' medical expenses for the children.   Then, one parent brings the other parent to court -- claiming they're in "contempt of court" for failing to pay their share.  Problem:  What is the amount of those "non-covered" expenses? Every time someone presents a medical-insurance card at a doctor's office, the insurance company will generate an 'Explanation of Benefits' form, also called an 'EOB.'  This form will list the original cost of the treatment or procedure, the discount granted to the insurance company (for being part of their network), the amount to the insurance company is going to pay, and the remaining amount.  It is this remaining amount, the patient's share, that is the true "non-covered" expense. So... if you have a judgment or child-support order, and the other parent is giving you an invoice or bill ...

When I meet with a prospective client for an analysis of their situation (for which I charge $50), I look at how I can bring their case to a conclusion.  After all, no one wants to be going to court over and over again, wasting valuable time and spending money unnecessarily.  So, from the very beginning, I try to determine exactly what the person's goals are.  Do they want a peaceful life, with the ability and freedom to parent their children without interference.  Do they want a steady, predictable financial situation, where child support or maintenance (alimony) checks arrive regularly.  Do they want a say in making important parenting decisions for their children?  Do they want freedom from interference with their parent-child relationship?  Do they need a full and complete accounting of all of the assets of the marriage, and a clear plan on how to proceed with dividing those assets and streams of income? If the goals of the representation are not...

To save time and money in your family-law case, it's essential to have some definite goals, and to proceed toward them as quickly and smoothly as possible.  From the 10,000-foot level, the goal might be to raise your children to be happy and well-adjusted, to have healthy and committed relationships as adults, and to need as little intensive therapy as possible (to undo the damage from your court case.)  As you zero in closer to the ground, the goals might involve obtaining the maximum-possible amount of parenting time, or obtaining a clearly-written holiday and summer-parenting schedule so you can enjoy and relax during those times that are supposed to be enjoyable and relaxing! If you haven't had a talk lately with your attorney about the goals of your case, it's like being in a taxi where the driver has only a vague idea where you want to go.  Have that talk! If you'd like to talk about your goals, please call my cell # at 312-493-4241 - seven days a week. - Ke...

I receive many calls from people who have been referred by others.  I am grateful to be trusted by those people who refer friends, relatives and co-workers, and I try to be helpful to all who call. To start with, I schedule an 'analysis,' for which I charge $50.  I meet the person at my office (500 N. Michigan) and look over all their court papers and other documents, and interview the person about the situation.  I then talk  about possible ways to move forward -- with strategy, tactics and a good sense of the goals that the person is pursuing.  I try to answer all of the person's questions. The person is under no obligation to hire me, and can take my recommendations and advice and think more about it, talk to other attorneys, and then make the decision of how to proceed (and who to trust with his or her case.) If you would like to schedule a $50 analysis of your situation, please call me anytime (7 days/week) at 312-493-4241.  

In Custody and Divorce cases, I have found that children are distracted in school, and often have trouble performing reliably.  Some of this is normal, and it's important not to overreact.  It would be tragic to give a child drugs unnecessarily.  Here's a recent New York Times article about the questionable rise in diagnoses of 'Attention Deficit Disorder.' http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/15/health/the-selling-of-attention-deficit-disorder.html?pagewanted=all&src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB&smid=pl-shar e

When you are interviewing an attorney and making the decision whether to trust your future, and possibly that of your child, to that professional, please pay close attention.  Are you being promised a particular outcome?  Actually, it is possible for an attorney to promise anything , in an initial interview, if he or she doesn't plan to be there at the end of the case - and won't have to deliver. Ask your prospective attorney what percentage of cases he or she actually finishes.  Having an attorney start a case by making promises to you, then ramping up the fees and making everything 'hot' with incendiary pleadings and accusations, announcing that he or she can't continue because he or she isn't getting paid and can't work for free - and finally filing a motion to withdraw just months or weeks before crucial dates (such as a trial) doesn't help you.  It wastes money.  It may poison your chances of working with the other party or parent on decision-ma...

When a parent is being deprived of contact or communication with a child, the cut-off parent's relatives and friends are often a source of emotional (and sometimes financial) support.  They cheer on the cut-off parent as he or she battles in court, seeking to protect the child's future.  However, sometimes an alienating parent will employ the tactic of 'co-opting' -- making a secret, side deal with one or more key supporters of the cut-off parent, to have secret visits with the child, with the condition that the cut-off parent not be told about this secret arrangement .    That secret?  That the supporter is now being freely given  the very thing the cut-off parent is hungering for -- visits and communication with the child!  The result is that the supporter suddenly  loses all energy for the fight .  They either retreat into the background or become actively hostile to the cut-off parent.  The cut-off parent is now faced with a sud...

psychological warfare n. The use of various techniques, such as propaganda and terror, to lower an enemy's morale. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by  Houghton Mifflin Company . All rights reserved. --------------------------------------------- In my work in divorce and custody cases, I often represent and counsel people who are the victims of 'psychological warfare' tactics.  These tactics are used by opposing parties to break their opponents will or resistance -- in other words, to "take the fight out of them."   Some tactics include ingratiating or co-opting relatives or friends, giving the other person false or misleading advice, getting the person to distrust his or her own attorney, causing severe financial distress and hardship, and otherwise making the person's life miserable and nearly unbearable.  These tactics often cause...

There are several phrases that are often included in divorce judgments or other court orders related to children and parenting.  These sound innocent, and even good, at first glance, but they have been proven to be very-expensive when fights erupt over their meaning, and courtrooms are full of people fighting over court orders and divorce judgments that include phrases like this: REALLY BAD PHRASES  Visitation or parenting time " Every other weekend ."  Sounds OK, right?  Everyone should be able to figure out what weekend he or she has with the kids -- now add in some special occasions and holidays, a little swapping and trading (or banking) of a weekend or two, and now you've lost all track of what actual weekend each parent is supposed to have.  And what's worse, no court can really enforce language that is so vague. " Each party shall be responsible for paying 50% of the extracurricular activity expenses of the minor child ."  This one phrase, or ...

When you are looking to hire a Chicago custody and divorce attorney, what qualities do you seek?  Most attorneys will bill by the hour, give you an office phone number, provide monthly statement of hours worked,and give you copies of all incoming and outgoing documents.  So how can you differentiate between different Chicago custody and divorce attorneys?  Can you: be given a clear roadmap toward progress in your divorce or custody case? reach your attorney by cell phone, for questions or updates, 7 days/week? receive the first 6 minutes of any phone call with your attorney free? use interactive computer software to see and discuss documents in real-time to avoid unnecessary office visits? have confidence that psychological, legal and emotional variables are being considered? 

I am sometimes asked to help a parent whose child has been taken out of state or hidden by the other parent.  These are real-life dramas.  Not very long ago, a case was reported (in the Minneapolis Star Tribune) where a 5-year-old boy was abducted by his paternal grandparents, who then moved, changed their names and hid the child until he grew up.    Apparently the mother, whom they were hiding the child from, never got the professional help she needed to find and reclaim the child.

When dealing with the police in the context of a visitation or custody dispute, it's important to remember that they do Not want to answer a 'domestic' call.  That is, they do not want to come to you house, or to the residence of the other parent, and mediate or handle a dispute between two parents.  There are better ways to enforce your visitation or custody rights under Illinois law, and I would be happy to talk with you.

Attorneys have a duty to pursue a client's goals, within the limits of the law, court rules, and both written and unwritten ethical standards.  I often use the analogy of a taxi driver.  The attorney is the taxi driver, the client is the passenger.  You hop into my cab, I ask you where you want to go.  I can't drive my taxi around aimlessly with no destination. An attorney can't let a case drag on and on, just because he or she would make more money that way.  Also, the attorney should write clear, understandable agreements and court orders (yes, the attorneys usually write court orders for judges to sign), so that clients don't find themselves back in court fighting over the meaning of the words.  Not paying attention to wording  can destroy the finances of struggling families and children.   For example, a vague phrase like, "equally divide the holidays" can lead to months and years of expensive fighting.  I have plenty of examples of cle...

I am sometimes contacted by people whose cases have taken a bad turn.  It may be that the other side has obtained a favorable (for them) court order regarding the children, or obtained a money judgment against them, or convinced a judge that the person is in 'contempt of court.'  While I cannot always improve the situation, I welcome the chance to sit down for what I call "an analysis"-- looking over the paperwork, correspondence and court orders, and discussing the history of the case with the person, to determine what can be done. If there has been an unfavorable court order, it is very important to act quickly -- filing a 'motion to reconsider or vacate' within 30 days.  Doing it after 30 days pushes the cases into a different set of rules, and makes it less likely that a court will give serious consideration to overturning its previous ruling.  If I analyze your case, I will not dwell on past actions or strategies.  I don't find that to be productive...

How important are extracurricular activities for children?   Are they more important than spending time with a parent?  Some parents will schedule the children to attend lessons or activities that infringe on the other parent's parenting time.  The scheduling parent may offer the justification that they are simply giving the child or children a 'normal' life - but the other parent simply wants to spend uncluttered time with the child. Lessons or activities can be misused to wage psychological warfare at the expense of the child's emotional health!  One solution is to require that a parent's written consent (by email, for example) be required to step on his or her parenting time.  A parent is still free to schedule activities on his or her own time. My cell # is 312-493-4241, if you'd like to schedule a time to talk about your situation in detail. - Kevin J. www.divorce.nu

I sometimes represent victims of domestic violence and of domestic terrorism.  The victim may not be physically abused, but may be held hostage or dominated by the abuser in other ways.  One way is to earn a substantial living but give the spouse only dribs and drabs of money, essentially an allowance to buy food and what the abuser feels is necessary.  The victim then has to essentially beg the abuser for more money - handouts. The abuser may present to the world a polished, professional image, even earning promotions, awards and commendations -- all the while acting like a tyrant and terrorist at home.   If you have a roller-coaster life, are being dominated and held a financial prisoner by your spouse or partner, if your spouse has you convinced that you are the problem, twisting reality to try and portray you as a bad mother or father when you know (you know) better, you may actually be the victim of psychological abuse or domestic violence.

It may seem like common sense, but there must be a goal for a case.  In the heat of litigation, when the emotions are flying and the billable hours are accumulating, it is possible for a client to completely lose track of what the 'end game' or eventual outcome of the case is intended to be.  For example, the goal of a case might be: (1) have a peaceful life, (2) receive maximum child support and (3) raise an emotionally- and physically-health child, able to have healthy relationships in the future.  Once you have a goal (whatever it is) it's important not to spend time doing things that don't make progress toward that goal.  You might think a few angry letters written to the other side's attorney would be good, or you might think that more motions need to be filed -- but your attorney has to stay focused, not on producing heat and smoke, but on moving toward your goals, whatever they are.  And that may not involve trashing the other side's parenting ability, or...

When you are presenting a motion or petition to the court, or when you are speaking in court, it's important to remember that judges want facts.  Yes, facts .  What they often get are conclusory statements like, "He's been harrassing me!" "He doesn't pay a dime of support," or "She has been wasting money."  Those are conclusions for the judge to make, after considering the statements of fact that you (and the other side) present. Instead of filling the pages (and air) with conclusory statements, it is much better to make statements of fact (that can be backed up with documentation, if possible), such as, "In the past week, he has called my job 10 times, and I received a letter from my HR Department warning me about personal calls," "The last payment of child support he made was $45.15 on April 5th, 2010, according to the SDU printout," or "Her bank statements show ATM cash withdrawals averaging $300 per week over the ...

One tactic improperly used against my client is what I call "the wedge."  It's when one parent gets the child excited about attending an activity or event that will infringe or cancel the other parent's parenting time, or that will require the other parent to provide transport to and from the activity or event.  Once the child is excited about attending, without notifying the other parent or communicating directly adult-to-adult (which would be the proper way) the parent instead says, "It's OK with me, but you'll have to ask your Dad, since it's his weekend," or words to that effect. Now the child is like a torpedo, launched against the other, unsuspecting parent.  The child's words will be something like, "Dad, can I be in baseball this summer?  Mom says it's OK but I have to ask you."  This puts the other parent (in this case, Dad) in an unwinnable situation:  He may well enjoy the free-and-easy parenting time he has each we...

 I have seen cases calm Way Down when my client starts acting as though the other parent doesn't exist.  At first glance, it sounds bad, since one of the factors under Section 602 is the willingness of the parent to foster a good relationship between the child and the other parent.  But, in a case a few years ago where my client (the mother) implemented this, and the other side (father, trying constantly to stir up chaos using their little son) tried to portray the mother's refusal to allow the little son to speak of his father, and her refusal to engage the father in voice communications, as a bad thing, the judge granted my oral 'motion for a directed finding' at the close of father's case, at the trial on father's petition to change custody .  So, it didn't hurt us at all. I do believe parents should communicate adult-to-adult in these high-conflict situations by email (not texting or voice).  I recommend that clients adopt a 'ma...

Should a family-law attorney give clients his or her cell-phone number?  I believe so.  My clients, by trusting me with their divorce, custody, paternity, child-support, visitation or other family-law case, are really placing their lives in my hands.  I don't want them guessing what to do when a situation arises -- they need to be able to reach me when they have questions.  I give them my cell-phone number and encourage them to call anytime. This means that I can't hide from clients, that I must keep clients informed and somewhat happy, or they will be ringing my phone day and night. I call my customer-service policy 'direct contact.'  My clients can reach me 7 days/week.  I even answer my phone when I'm on the phone with someone else (very briefly, with apologies to the present caller -- just to say that I'm tied up and will have to talk later.) I don't put up a 'voicemail wall'  (I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson is in a meeting right now, would you...

I was recently reminded (again) how important the wording of a final 'judgment' or 'agreed order' can be.  When two parties are in the midst of negotiations, attempting to resolve a divorce or custody case, it can be tempting to finesse the final wording of an agreement to make the case end.  This is a time to be very careful!  Sometimes the wording of a parenting agreement or a financial settlement can be ambiguous - that is, each side thinks the paragraph, sentence or phrase means something different.  Before signing any agreement, it is good to read, and re-read it, carefully to think of how it might be understood differently in the future.

I often tell clients that we have to 'have a plan' for their case.  Some new clients seem to think that they can listen to my advice, mix in the advice of their family and friends, and then decide for themselves how to manage their custody, paternity or divorce case.  'Opinion shopping,' you might call it.  This does Not work!  Imagine if an airline pilot would ask different air-traffic-control centers (at the same time) for advice on which route to fly. I make it clear to clients that I must be in charge of their case, but just as I am like a taxi driver, they are like my passenger.  If a client says, "I want to get my child back from Nevada, where my wife moved three months ago," that's a clear goal.  If a client says, "I want to have as much time with my children as possible," that's another clear goal.  Once I know the client's goal, I can proceed to plan the case. I often say that I'm like a 'gruff New York taxi driver....

By learning from experience, I am trying to arrive at a set of basic 'protocols' (as I call them) that can be used in most high-conflict custody and visitation cases.  The idea is to reduce or eliminate much of the wasted effort and wheel-spinning that can take place as parents jockey for advantage.  Not that there aren't important tactical considerations in these cases -- there are!  I'm talking about protocols like the following: 1.  Don't talk with the other parent during exchanges of the child 2.  Communicate with the other parent only by email, except for emergencies 3.  Pickup of the child for visitation is by the parent whose time is beginning. 4.  Exchange of the child(ren) should be done curbside in front of the other parent's house, with the parent in the car staying in the car.  (This works for children who are safe to walk between the street and the front door.) Back to my website

Since I often represent clients in high-conflict visitation disputes, my usual advice is to not say A WORD to the other parent at the time the child is exchanged for the visits.  Even brief conversations 'over the heads' of the children during an exchange can lead to an argument.  Or, if one parent doesn't care about involving the children in the conflict, he or she can push for answers, and the other side (wanting to avoid conflict in front ofthe children) might feel he or she has to give in.  ('What do you mean you want to talk about this later -- I need an answer right now!' the one parent might say.) When parents are in conflict -- as shown by their needing attorneys and the court system to decide things - I advise clients to communicate with the other parent by email only , so there is a good trail of the conversations, should there ever be a need to discuss those in court.  I don't really favor text messages, since they are individual messages and don...

The subject of "dissipation" comes up when a couple's assets are being divided in a divorce.  "Dissipation" means the use of marital assets for a purpose unrelated to the marriage, after the marriage has suffered an irretrievable breakdown.  So, there are three elements to look at: 1)  whether an asset is "marital," 2)  whether it was used for purposed "unrelated to the marriage," and 3)  whether the asset was used after the date that the marriage irretrievably broke down.

You may hear the term "pretrial conference" and wonder what that means. Another term for it is a settlement conference. It is a meeting between the judge and the lawyers, usually in the judge's office (known as the judge's chambers). Clients wait out in the courtroom. Usually, the judge will not look at any paperwork, but will simply hear each attorney explain his or her client's position. The judge will then give a 'recommendation' that is not a court order, but does have some weight -- after all, it is one judge's opinion of what the probable outcome of a trial or hearing will be. Obtaining the recommendation of a judge can help both parties adjust their strategy, or get them closer to settling the case.

When we talk about "family law," we are talking about representing people who are in some kind of disagreement or dispute about the children, property, belongings or money in which they both claim an interest. Sometimes, people can solve their disputes informally, without the use of the court system. However, you cannot obtain a divorce or a custody order without a judge's signature -- so for your particular situation it may be impossible to avoid filing legal documents and going to court.