Family Law

When we talk about "family law," we are talking about representing people who are in some kind of disagreement or dispute about the children, property, belongings or money in which they both claim an interest. Sometimes, people can solve their disputes informally, without the use of the court system. However, you cannot obtain a divorce or a custody order without a judge's signature -- so for your particular situation it may be impossible to avoid filing legal documents and going to court.

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Problems cause by the words "flexible" in a custody order or divorce judgment

I have found that there are two ways to deal with problems in implementing and interpreting parenting-time agreements contained in divorce or custody orders and judgments.  One is to deal with the problems as they arise -- putting out fires, fixing 'plane crash' or 'train wreck' situations, billing clients for the hours needed to bring things back to a smooth, working parenting schedule.  The other approach (and one which I try to follow) is to prevent  the parenting problems in the first place , with clear language -- times, days, places for exchange of the children, details all stated in the court orders. In order to prevent problems, though, it's necessary to avoid words like "flexible."  As in this horrible phrase:  "The parties agree to implement the above parenting schedule in a flexible manner, in light of the children's changing needs, their activities and other unforeseen circumstances."   This may sound just fine to a parent...
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Decisions to be made by the client, and by the divorce and custody attorney

It is always important for me to have a clear understanding with clients about our respective roles.  I often use the analogy of airline pilot and a passenger:  I'm like an airline pilot -- I am "in charge" of getting to the destination, my client is like an airline passenger, and is my source of detailed information on what destination (goal) should be pursued.  I must decide how to achieve those goals -- to get to the client's destination.  So, just like a passenger on a airliner can't come into the cockpit, grap the steering yoke and try to fly the plane, my client can't be "in charge" of the case.  For example:  Does my client want to have his child live with him?  Get the child back from another state?  Prevent ongoing interference with his parenting time?  Make a parenting schedule more clear, prevent misunderstandings about school and health decisions, or otherwise lower the volume and temperature of the case?  Or are there safety...
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The Improper Use of 'The Wedge' in Custody, Visitation and Divorce Cases

One tactic improperly used against my client is what I call "the wedge."  It's when one parent gets the child excited about attending an activity or event that will infringe or cancel the other parent's parenting time, or that will require the other parent to provide transport to and from the activity or event.  Once the child is excited about attending, without notifying the other parent or communicating directly adult-to-adult (which would be the proper way) the parent instead says, "It's OK with me, but you'll have to ask your Dad, since it's his weekend," or words to that effect. Now the child is like a torpedo, launched against the other, unsuspecting parent.  The child's words will be something like, "Dad, can I be in baseball this summer?  Mom says it's OK but I have to ask you."  This puts the other parent (in this case, Dad) in an unwinnable situation:  He may well enjoy the free-and-easy parenting time he has each we...
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