Kevin R. Johnson, Chicago Divorce Attorney, Custody Attorney, Parent's Rights

I sometimes represent victims of domestic violence and of domestic terrorism.  The victim may not be physically abused, but may be held hostage or dominated by the abuser in other ways.  One way is to earn a substantial living but give the spouse only dribs and drabs of money, essentially an allowance to buy food and what the abuser feels is necessary.  The victim then has to essentially beg the abuser for more money - handouts. The abuser may present to the world a polished, professional image, even earning promotions, awards and commendations -- all the while acting like a tyrant and terrorist at home.   If you have a roller-coaster life, are being dominated and held a financial prisoner by your spouse or partner, if your spouse has you convinced that you are the problem, twisting reality to try and portray you as a bad mother or father when you know (you know) better, you may actually be the victim of psychological abuse or domestic violence.

It may seem like common sense, but there must be a goal for a case.  In the heat of litigation, when the emotions are flying and the billable hours are accumulating, it is possible for a client to completely lose track of what the 'end game' or eventual outcome of the case is intended to be.  For example, the goal of a case might be: (1) have a peaceful life, (2) receive maximum child support and (3) raise an emotionally- and physically-health child, able to have healthy relationships in the future.  Once you have a goal (whatever it is) it's important not to spend time doing things that don't make progress toward that goal.  You might think a few angry letters written to the other side's attorney would be good, or you might think that more motions need to be filed -- but your attorney has to stay focused, not on producing heat and smoke, but on moving toward your goals, whatever they are.  And that may not involve trashing the other side's parenting ability, or...

When you are presenting a motion or petition to the court, or when you are speaking in court, it's important to remember that judges want facts.  Yes, facts .  What they often get are conclusory statements like, "He's been harrassing me!" "He doesn't pay a dime of support," or "She has been wasting money."  Those are conclusions for the judge to make, after considering the statements of fact that you (and the other side) present. Instead of filling the pages (and air) with conclusory statements, it is much better to make statements of fact (that can be backed up with documentation, if possible), such as, "In the past week, he has called my job 10 times, and I received a letter from my HR Department warning me about personal calls," "The last payment of child support he made was $45.15 on April 5th, 2010, according to the SDU printout," or "Her bank statements show ATM cash withdrawals averaging $300 per week over the ...

One tactic improperly used against my client is what I call "the wedge."  It's when one parent gets the child excited about attending an activity or event that will infringe or cancel the other parent's parenting time, or that will require the other parent to provide transport to and from the activity or event.  Once the child is excited about attending, without notifying the other parent or communicating directly adult-to-adult (which would be the proper way) the parent instead says, "It's OK with me, but you'll have to ask your Dad, since it's his weekend," or words to that effect. Now the child is like a torpedo, launched against the other, unsuspecting parent.  The child's words will be something like, "Dad, can I be in baseball this summer?  Mom says it's OK but I have to ask you."  This puts the other parent (in this case, Dad) in an unwinnable situation:  He may well enjoy the free-and-easy parenting time he has each we...

 I have seen cases calm Way Down when my client starts acting as though the other parent doesn't exist.  At first glance, it sounds bad, since one of the factors under Section 602 is the willingness of the parent to foster a good relationship between the child and the other parent.  But, in a case a few years ago where my client (the mother) implemented this, and the other side (father, trying constantly to stir up chaos using their little son) tried to portray the mother's refusal to allow the little son to speak of his father, and her refusal to engage the father in voice communications, as a bad thing, the judge granted my oral 'motion for a directed finding' at the close of father's case, at the trial on father's petition to change custody .  So, it didn't hurt us at all. I do believe parents should communicate adult-to-adult in these high-conflict situations by email (not texting or voice).  I recommend that clients adopt a 'ma...

Should a family-law attorney give clients his or her cell-phone number?  I believe so.  My clients, by trusting me with their divorce, custody, paternity, child-support, visitation or other family-law case, are really placing their lives in my hands.  I don't want them guessing what to do when a situation arises -- they need to be able to reach me when they have questions.  I give them my cell-phone number and encourage them to call anytime. This means that I can't hide from clients, that I must keep clients informed and somewhat happy, or they will be ringing my phone day and night. I call my customer-service policy 'direct contact.'  My clients can reach me 7 days/week.  I even answer my phone when I'm on the phone with someone else (very briefly, with apologies to the present caller -- just to say that I'm tied up and will have to talk later.) I don't put up a 'voicemail wall'  (I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson is in a meeting right now, would you...

I was recently reminded (again) how important the wording of a final 'judgment' or 'agreed order' can be.  When two parties are in the midst of negotiations, attempting to resolve a divorce or custody case, it can be tempting to finesse the final wording of an agreement to make the case end.  This is a time to be very careful!  Sometimes the wording of a parenting agreement or a financial settlement can be ambiguous - that is, each side thinks the paragraph, sentence or phrase means something different.  Before signing any agreement, it is good to read, and re-read it, carefully to think of how it might be understood differently in the future.

I often tell clients that we have to 'have a plan' for their case.  Some new clients seem to think that they can listen to my advice, mix in the advice of their family and friends, and then decide for themselves how to manage their custody, paternity or divorce case.  'Opinion shopping,' you might call it.  This does Not work!  Imagine if an airline pilot would ask different air-traffic-control centers (at the same time) for advice on which route to fly. I make it clear to clients that I must be in charge of their case, but just as I am like a taxi driver, they are like my passenger.  If a client says, "I want to get my child back from Nevada, where my wife moved three months ago," that's a clear goal.  If a client says, "I want to have as much time with my children as possible," that's another clear goal.  Once I know the client's goal, I can proceed to plan the case. I often say that I'm like a 'gruff New York taxi driver....

By learning from experience, I am trying to arrive at a set of basic 'protocols' (as I call them) that can be used in most high-conflict custody and visitation cases.  The idea is to reduce or eliminate much of the wasted effort and wheel-spinning that can take place as parents jockey for advantage.  Not that there aren't important tactical considerations in these cases -- there are!  I'm talking about protocols like the following: 1.  Don't talk with the other parent during exchanges of the child 2.  Communicate with the other parent only by email, except for emergencies 3.  Pickup of the child for visitation is by the parent whose time is beginning. 4.  Exchange of the child(ren) should be done curbside in front of the other parent's house, with the parent in the car staying in the car.  (This works for children who are safe to walk between the street and the front door.) Back to my website

Since I often represent clients in high-conflict visitation disputes, my usual advice is to not say A WORD to the other parent at the time the child is exchanged for the visits.  Even brief conversations 'over the heads' of the children during an exchange can lead to an argument.  Or, if one parent doesn't care about involving the children in the conflict, he or she can push for answers, and the other side (wanting to avoid conflict in front ofthe children) might feel he or she has to give in.  ('What do you mean you want to talk about this later -- I need an answer right now!' the one parent might say.) When parents are in conflict -- as shown by their needing attorneys and the court system to decide things - I advise clients to communicate with the other parent by email only , so there is a good trail of the conversations, should there ever be a need to discuss those in court.  I don't really favor text messages, since they are individual messages and don...

The subject of "dissipation" comes up when a couple's assets are being divided in a divorce.  "Dissipation" means the use of marital assets for a purpose unrelated to the marriage, after the marriage has suffered an irretrievable breakdown.  So, there are three elements to look at: 1)  whether an asset is "marital," 2)  whether it was used for purposed "unrelated to the marriage," and 3)  whether the asset was used after the date that the marriage irretrievably broke down.

You may hear the term "pretrial conference" and wonder what that means. Another term for it is a settlement conference. It is a meeting between the judge and the lawyers, usually in the judge's office (known as the judge's chambers). Clients wait out in the courtroom. Usually, the judge will not look at any paperwork, but will simply hear each attorney explain his or her client's position. The judge will then give a 'recommendation' that is not a court order, but does have some weight -- after all, it is one judge's opinion of what the probable outcome of a trial or hearing will be. Obtaining the recommendation of a judge can help both parties adjust their strategy, or get them closer to settling the case.

When we talk about "family law," we are talking about representing people who are in some kind of disagreement or dispute about the children, property, belongings or money in which they both claim an interest. Sometimes, people can solve their disputes informally, without the use of the court system. However, you cannot obtain a divorce or a custody order without a judge's signature -- so for your particular situation it may be impossible to avoid filing legal documents and going to court.