Fight for language that brings you peace

Language is vitally important.

When a custody or divorce judgment is unclear, or requires elaborate interpretation, it can lead to disputes, friction between the parties, and unnecessary court proceedings.  All to the good, if you like being in court and watching your money drain away.  However, most people don't like that, and most people want to avoid wasting time and money in struggles that don't get them anywhere, and that could be avoided through careful writing by the attorneys.

For my clients, I try to reduce and where possible, eliminate the need for routine communications between separated parents (ex-spouses, ex-partners). Let them save communications for when 'significant' (slow-moving, life-changing) decisions need to be made for a child, or when an emergency arises.

There's quite a bit of talk about 'Co-Parenting.'  Books have been written about it.  It's a buzz word.

Really, though, co-parenting is just a pipe dream when it means raw emotions and constant struggle. (Often the case when the court case has been a bitter struggle.)  Instead, for many of the situations I see, it seems that a better goal is parallel parenting -- each side going about their business on their parenting days, and enjoying their non-parenting time, too.   Good fences make good neighbors.   The only way to achieve this is through very-clear drafting.  

If the parents have a very-clear parenting schedule, and if they adhere to a policy of avoiding swapping, trading, banking (saving and spending) or canceling parenting time --  except in extreme, near-emergency situations, they can live a very-peaceful life -- compared to those parents forced into regular and unending negotiations, 'true-ups,' calculations, income comparisons, receipt exchanges and clarifications and choices regarding days, weekends and vacations.  

And this really is a very child-centered approach.  A peaceful life for parents means a much-more-peaceful life for their children.  Activities have their place, but not at the expense of the children's childhood.

If you're interested in conserving your time, money and emotional health as you engage in custody, divorce or financial litigation with a spouse, partner, ex-spouse or ex-partner, please give me a call.  I'll have you in for a comprehensive 'analysis' to determine if I can be of any help to you.

- Kevin Johnson
  cell:  312-493-4241 (7 days/week)
  

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