Divorce and Custody (and Parenting Time): The horrible use of children as weapons

Any list of horrible tactics used in Cook County Circuit Court divorce and custody cases must include this:  The controlling parent's use of the children as weapons to gain emotional, financial or parenting leverage over the other parent.

One example:  The controlling parent says, "I really want Brian to have a relationship with Sally, but I think it's up to Sally whether she wants to spend time with him."   This clever (abusive) tactic tries to deflect any blame from the controlling parent, make the non-controlling parent do all of the work.

The controlling parent can make it seem that non-controlling parent must somehow earn the child's approval for an expansion (or resumption) of parenting time.   Meanwhile, the controlling parent makes it clear to the child what is expected:  She's expected to say, "I'm happy being with Mommy and Bruce (new husband) -- I really don't want to spend time with Daddy."

In other words, the controlling parent argues that she/he doesn't have to change a thing -- it's all up to the non-controlling parent to do all the work, to have therapeutic sessions with the child, to rebuild trust and somehow re-establish parenting time.  All the while, in the background, the controlling parent is pressuring the child to stop or slow down the process.

If you're the victim of this or other psychological-warfare tactics, you're living a nightmare.  Please call me (7 days a week) to schedule an analysis of your situation, to have all of your questions answered, and to map a way forward.

- Kevin J.    (cell) 312-493-4241

www.divorce.nu

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