Kevin R. Johnson, Chicago Divorce Attorney, Custody Attorney, Parent's Rights

I was recently reminded (again) how important the wording of a final 'judgment' or 'agreed order' can be.  When two parties are in the midst of negotiations, attempting to resolve a divorce or custody case, it can be tempting to finesse the final wording of an agreement to make the case end.  This is a time to be very careful!  Sometimes the wording of a parenting agreement or a financial settlement can be ambiguous - that is, each side thinks the paragraph, sentence or phrase means something different.  Before signing any agreement, it is good to read, and re-read it, carefully to think of how it might be understood differently in the future.

I often tell clients that we have to 'have a plan' for their case.  Some new clients seem to think that they can listen to my advice, mix in the advice of their family and friends, and then decide for themselves how to manage their custody, paternity or divorce case.  'Opinion shopping,' you might call it.  This does Not work!  Imagine if an airline pilot would ask different air-traffic-control centers (at the same time) for advice on which route to fly. I make it clear to clients that I must be in charge of their case, but just as I am like a taxi driver, they are like my passenger.  If a client says, "I want to get my child back from Nevada, where my wife moved three months ago," that's a clear goal.  If a client says, "I want to have as much time with my children as possible," that's another clear goal.  Once I know the client's goal, I can proceed to plan the case. I often say that I'm like a 'gruff New York taxi driver....

By learning from experience, I am trying to arrive at a set of basic 'protocols' (as I call them) that can be used in most high-conflict custody and visitation cases.  The idea is to reduce or eliminate much of the wasted effort and wheel-spinning that can take place as parents jockey for advantage.  Not that there aren't important tactical considerations in these cases -- there are!  I'm talking about protocols like the following: 1.  Don't talk with the other parent during exchanges of the child 2.  Communicate with the other parent only by email, except for emergencies 3.  Pickup of the child for visitation is by the parent whose time is beginning. 4.  Exchange of the child(ren) should be done curbside in front of the other parent's house, with the parent in the car staying in the car.  (This works for children who are safe to walk between the street and the front door.) Back to my website

Since I often represent clients in high-conflict visitation disputes, my usual advice is to not say A WORD to the other parent at the time the child is exchanged for the visits.  Even brief conversations 'over the heads' of the children during an exchange can lead to an argument.  Or, if one parent doesn't care about involving the children in the conflict, he or she can push for answers, and the other side (wanting to avoid conflict in front ofthe children) might feel he or she has to give in.  ('What do you mean you want to talk about this later -- I need an answer right now!' the one parent might say.) When parents are in conflict -- as shown by their needing attorneys and the court system to decide things - I advise clients to communicate with the other parent by email only , so there is a good trail of the conversations, should there ever be a need to discuss those in court.  I don't really favor text messages, since they are individual messages and don...

The subject of "dissipation" comes up when a couple's assets are being divided in a divorce.  "Dissipation" means the use of marital assets for a purpose unrelated to the marriage, after the marriage has suffered an irretrievable breakdown.  So, there are three elements to look at: 1)  whether an asset is "marital," 2)  whether it was used for purposed "unrelated to the marriage," and 3)  whether the asset was used after the date that the marriage irretrievably broke down.

You may hear the term "pretrial conference" and wonder what that means. Another term for it is a settlement conference. It is a meeting between the judge and the lawyers, usually in the judge's office (known as the judge's chambers). Clients wait out in the courtroom. Usually, the judge will not look at any paperwork, but will simply hear each attorney explain his or her client's position. The judge will then give a 'recommendation' that is not a court order, but does have some weight -- after all, it is one judge's opinion of what the probable outcome of a trial or hearing will be. Obtaining the recommendation of a judge can help both parties adjust their strategy, or get them closer to settling the case.

When we talk about "family law," we are talking about representing people who are in some kind of disagreement or dispute about the children, property, belongings or money in which they both claim an interest. Sometimes, people can solve their disputes informally, without the use of the court system. However, you cannot obtain a divorce or a custody order without a judge's signature -- so for your particular situation it may be impossible to avoid filing legal documents and going to court.